January 21, 2006
Pet Diary


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY 8:00 a.m. Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m. Oh boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!...

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Posted by tstubbs at 06:24 PM
January 03, 2004
Spelling Error by FBI Grounds French FLights to the US


The names of six passengers sounded similar to those of terrorist suspects provided by the FBI, prompting the French government to ground the planes, the official said on condition of anonymity. Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy refrained from criticizing the United...

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Posted by tstubbs at 10:06 AM
January 02, 2004
Feeding Crocodile with Baby on Live TV!


Crocodile hunter Steve Irwin has defended feeding a crocodile while holding his baby son, claiming it's good parenting to teach children about crocodile danger. Mr Irwin is under investigation by the Queensland Families Department after feeding a crocodile while holding...

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Posted by tstubbs at 11:39 PM
December 08, 2003
Its Official Bush is the Number One Miserable Failure as Ranked By Google


Go to google type in "miserable failure" hit, im feeling lucky...

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Posted by tstubbs at 09:15 AM
December 01, 2003
Republican Campaign Gets off to a Bang'n Start. Christian Coalition Seriously Pissed Off with the New Slogans


Alternatively you may want to Shave Bush or Castrate Dick?...

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Posted by tstubbs at 09:47 AM
November 29, 2003
God's Law and All That


Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify ? Why can't I own Canadians ?

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Posted by tstubbs at 09:19 PM
"All they cared about was a stupid DVD player"


A mob of shoppers rushing for a sale on DVD players trampled the first woman in line and knocked her unconscious as they scrambled for the shelves at a Wal-Mart Supercenter. Paramedics called to the store found VanLester unconscious on top of a DVD player, surrounded by shoppers seemingly oblivious to her, said Mark O'Keefe, a spokesman for EVAC Ambulance.

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Posted by tstubbs at 02:53 PM
November 26, 2003
Fun at the KKK Ceremony


JOHNSON CITY, Tenn.— A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said. Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, was charged with aggravated assault and...

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Posted by tstubbs at 11:15 AM
November 07, 2003
Unrest In Iraq


"All I know is, if the Iraqis had invaded our country, we'd be acting a lot nicer to them than they are to us." —Geraldine Bates, Telemarketer...

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Posted by tstubbs at 05:33 AM
November 03, 2003
Bishop Gene Robinson Installed in Hockey Rink - Protesters were Invited.


The ceremony included an opportunity for objectors to speak. Three protesters spoke for 10 minutes, including a Pennsylvania man who launched into a graphic description of gay sex acts. An openly gay man can speak for God, the Episcopal Church USA proclaimed Sunday as the Rev. V. Gene Robinson was installed as a bishop of New Hampshire.

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Posted by tstubbs at 01:00 PM
October 31, 2003
Toy Gun Accidently Smuggled into Capital Building


Two congressional staffers who got past a security checkpoint with Halloween costumes and a toy gun in their bags accidentally threw Capitol Hill into a 90-minute panic yesterday, with police fearing that a gunman had slipped into a congressional office...

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Posted by tstubbs at 08:17 AM
October 20, 2003
Bugger the Gay Shellfish


Gene Robinson took issue with those who quoted the Book of Leviticus to him and claimed that through the Bible, God forbade homosexuality. The Bishop-elect, winning himself a ripple of laughter, said Leviticus also forbids the consumption of shellfish, but...

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Posted by tstubbs at 06:42 AM
October 10, 2003
My Favorite Spam


Do you read your SPAM? Well most of it is just plain annoying but this gem surfaced the other day as I was cleaning out my spam folder....

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Posted by tstubbs at 10:12 PM
October 01, 2003
Iran's Nuclear Program


"If armageddon devices of biblical proportion don't belong in the hands of fundamentalist religious extremists, where do they belong?" —Matt Donnelly, Editor...

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Posted by tstubbs at 02:00 PM
August 29, 2003
Size Matters but "Gubernatorial cocks are the same size as everyone else's."


"Is your cock disproportionate to the rest of you?" Schwarzenegger replied, "Well, that depends on what you mean by disproportionate. The cock isn't a muscle, so it doesn't grow in relation to the shoulders, say, or the pectorals. You can't make it bigger through exercise, that's for sure." He added that "women have told me they're curious about its size--you know, outgoing chicks who're just trying to be outrageous or horny. I hear all kind of lines, including 'Oh, you're hurting me; you're so big.' But it means nothing. Bodybuilders' cocks are the same size as everyone else's."

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Posted by tstubbs at 04:22 PM
August 28, 2003
Alabama Abandons 10 Commandments and Continues to Apply the Death Penalty


A contentious granite monument inscribed with the ten commandments and other religious references was finally removed from public view at the Alabama state judicial building yesterday, in the face of furious protests. The Alabama judiciary currently applies a selective interpretation of the commandments, specifically the injunction, Thou shalt not kill. It is seventh in the list of states applying the death penalty, and has executed 28 people since it was reintroduced in 1976.

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Posted by tstubbs at 10:31 AM
August 17, 2003
Catholic Church Don't Ask Don't Tell Coverup Policy on Buggering Kids and Animals


An unofficial English translation was obtained by CBS. The document describes as "The Worst Crime" by clerics, obscene acts "with youths of either sex or with brute animals." A priest who takes advantage of a church member in a confessional relationship is subject to an in-house church trial. The document instructs all those involved "...to be restrained by a perpetual silence, to observe the strictest secret, ...under the penalty of excommunication." Even many Catholics today were shocked and flabbergasted to hear about the policy.

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Posted by tstubbs at 11:18 PM
August 10, 2003
Weapons of Mass Destruction Found! In Alabama...


ANNISTON, Alabama --  The U.S. army yesterday fired up its first chemical weapons incinerator near a residential area and destroyed a Cold War-era rocket loaded with enough sarin nerve gas to wipe out a city.

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Posted by tstubbs at 06:42 PM
August 09, 2003
Did Bob Hope Ever Say Anything Funny?


Give a man a reputation as an early riser, said Mark Twain, and that man can thereafter sleep until noon. Quick, then—what is your favorite Bob Hope gag? It wouldn't take you long if I challenged you on Milton Berle, or Woody Allen, or John Cleese, or even (for the older customers) Lenny Bruce or Mort Sahl. By this time tomorrow, I bet you haven't come up with a real joke for which Hope could take credit.

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Posted by tstubbs at 05:01 PM
August 05, 2003
Lock up your Children - the Bishops back in Town - Witchhunt Ensues


Local Episcopal leaders responded with shock, sadness and a call for patience Monday when a New Hampshire clergyman's bid to become the first openly gay elected bishop in the Episcopal Church was postponed amid allegations involving inappropriate touching and pornography.

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Posted by tstubbs at 09:46 AM
July 30, 2003
Pentagon Futures Market - The News


The Pentagon yesterday scrapped a plan to establish a futures market that would have allowed investors to bet on the probability of coups, assassinations, terrorist strikes and other events in the Middle East. No... I'm not making this up.

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Posted by tstubbs at 08:49 AM
July 25, 2003
Hunting for Bambi


Tony Blair would like to visit Nevada When Prime Minister Tony Blair delivered his speech before Congress last Thursday he announced that he has never been to Nevada, a place he would like to visit. There is much for him to see in Sin City. World famous resorts and structures such as Hoover Dam, one of the seven architectural wonders of the world. Of course, there is that current Bambi situation. We know that Blair has pledged to ban hunting with dogs, and we are confident he'd be against hunting women.

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Posted by tstubbs at 01:55 PM
July 24, 2003
Secret Service Investigate Bush Assassination Attempt


When Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Michael Ramirez put pen to paper seeking to defend President Bush from attacks on his Iraq policy, he never expected to be targeted for federal interrogation.

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Posted by tstubbs at 09:05 PM
July 23, 2003
Pretty Blond American White Girl Survives Car Crash and is Wheeled out As an "American Hero"


The local Burger Barn set up a streetside grill. The market hawked compact discs featuring songs about Private Lynch recorded by one of its employees. And a man wearing a black Vietnam veterans cap peddled American, P.O.W.-M.I.A. and Confederate flags on the street. Some who celebrated Lynch's homecoming said they wished other soldiers, particularly those who had been held prisoner, could have received the same attention. Carty wondered about another woman who was captured and released, Spc. Shoshana Johnson, 30, of El Paso, a member of Lynch's unit. "I wonder if we're overdoing (the celebration) of one more than the other," she said. "I'm proud of Jessica because she made it through, but it doesn't make me less proud of the other woman."

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Posted by tstubbs at 01:47 PM
July 21, 2003
These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed


These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate.

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Posted by tstubbs at 11:18 AM
July 19, 2003
Lets Start a War!


If you Havn't seen it.... Lets start a war... at the Gay Bar! by electric6 You really really must....

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Posted by tstubbs at 01:07 PM
Democrats boycott; GOP calls in police, passes pension bill


•Rep. Stark:"Excuse me. Whoa. Excuse me, Mr. Yinn, you're not reading." •Chairman Bill Thomas (R-Calif.): "If the gentleman from California would understand that he's reading the table of contents, which is at the beginning of the bill. He will then move to the body of the bill. That's how these things work." •Stark: "Its eloquence overwhelms me, Mr. Chairman, just like your intellect does." A transcript of the committee meeting quoted Stark as belittling Thomas's intellect. Although the transcript does not show it, McInnis interjected, ''Shut up.'' The transcript then shows Stark saying: ''You think you are big enough to make me, you little wimp? Come on. Come over here and make me. I dare you, you little fruitcake.'' Stark said in an interview later that he regretted calling McInnis a ''fruitcake.'' But he also said the transcript missed his telling Thomas, ''You're behaving like a fascist.''

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Posted by tstubbs at 12:31 PM
July 18, 2003
Devils Highway


Between 15 and 20 signs along New Mexico's 100-mile stretch of U.S. 666 are missing. Officials from all three states applied for the number change because of the old number's negative connotation. The highway runs 194 miles from Gallup north through southwestern Colorado and west to Monticello, Utah. Colorado and Utah transportation officials also reported a rash of sign thefts since the American Association of State Highway and Transportation changed the number from U.S. 666 to U.S. 491 in June.

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Posted by tstubbs at 09:56 PM
July 13, 2003
Fantastically this was buried on page 7 today - Uranium theft puts Britain on alert


The alert was sent to all police forces in England and Wales last Monday after a van containing the uranium was stolen from the firm’s depot on an industrial estate in Purfleet. The vehicle had been left unlocked and the keys were in the ignition.

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Posted by tstubbs at 05:30 PM
July 10, 2003
Music Swappers Buy More Music - Music Industry anounces plans to sue its best customers


Market research company Music Programming Ltd (MPL) said 87% of its respondents who downloaded music admitted they bought albums after hearing tracks through the internet. The REAL reson for the decline of music sales is the decline in quality music and the focus of the industry on the mass market.

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Posted by tstubbs at 11:48 AM
June 18, 2003
Amerika - God Put His Faith in Thee?


Bob Harris on This Modern World By now you've seen the recent poll which finds that a third of Americans mistakenly believe that WMDs were found in Iraq, and about 22 percent think Iraq actually used WMDs during the war....

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Posted by tstubbs at 12:32 PM