EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY 8:00 a.m. Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m. Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m. Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m. Oh boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!...
The names of six passengers sounded similar to those of terrorist suspects provided by the FBI, prompting the French government to ground the planes, the official said on condition of anonymity. Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy refrained from criticizing the United...
Read More From: Spelling Error by FBI Grounds French FLights to the US
Crocodile hunter Steve Irwin has defended feeding a crocodile while holding his baby son, claiming it's good parenting to teach children about crocodile danger. Mr Irwin is under investigation by the Queensland Families Department after feeding a crocodile while holding...
Read More From: Feeding Crocodile with Baby on Live TV!
Go to google type in "miserable failure" hit, im feeling lucky...
Read More From: Its Official Bush is the Number One Miserable Failure as Ranked By Google
Alternatively you may want to Shave Bush or Castrate Dick?...
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify ? Why can't I own Canadians ?
Read More From: God's Law and All That
A mob of shoppers rushing for a sale on DVD players trampled the first woman in line and knocked her unconscious as they scrambled for the shelves at a Wal-Mart Supercenter. Paramedics called to the store found VanLester unconscious on top of a DVD player, surrounded by shoppers seemingly oblivious to her, said Mark O'Keefe, a spokesman for EVAC Ambulance.
Read More From: "All they cared about was a stupid DVD player"
JOHNSON CITY, Tenn.— A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said. Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, was charged with aggravated assault and...
Read More From: Fun at the KKK Ceremony
"All I know is, if the Iraqis had invaded our country, we'd be acting a lot nicer to them than they are to us." —Geraldine Bates, Telemarketer...
Read More From: Unrest In Iraq
The ceremony included an opportunity for objectors to speak. Three protesters spoke for 10 minutes, including a Pennsylvania man who launched into a graphic description of gay sex acts.
An openly gay man can speak for God, the Episcopal Church USA proclaimed Sunday as the Rev. V. Gene Robinson was installed as a bishop of New Hampshire.
Read More From: Bishop Gene Robinson Installed in Hockey Rink - Protesters were Invited.
Two congressional staffers who got past a security checkpoint with Halloween costumes and a toy gun in their bags accidentally threw Capitol Hill into a 90-minute panic yesterday, with police fearing that a gunman had slipped into a congressional office...
Read More From: Toy Gun Accidently Smuggled into Capital Building
Gene Robinson took issue with those who quoted the Book of Leviticus to him and claimed that through the Bible, God forbade homosexuality. The Bishop-elect, winning himself a ripple of laughter, said Leviticus also forbids the consumption of shellfish, but...
Read More From: Bugger the Gay Shellfish
Do you read your SPAM? Well most of it is just plain annoying but this gem surfaced the other day as I was cleaning out my spam folder....
Read More From: My Favorite Spam
"If armageddon devices of biblical proportion don't belong in the hands of fundamentalist religious extremists, where do they belong?" —Matt Donnelly, Editor...
Read More From: Iran's Nuclear Program
"Is your cock disproportionate to the rest of you?" Schwarzenegger replied, "Well, that depends on what you mean by disproportionate. The cock isn't a muscle, so it doesn't grow in relation to the shoulders, say, or the pectorals. You can't make it bigger through exercise, that's for sure." He added that "women have told me they're curious about its size--you know, outgoing chicks who're just trying to be outrageous or horny. I hear all kind of lines, including 'Oh, you're hurting me; you're so big.' But it means nothing. Bodybuilders' cocks are the same size as everyone else's."
Read More From: Size Matters but "Gubernatorial cocks are the same size as everyone else's."
A contentious granite monument inscribed with the ten commandments and other religious references was finally removed from public view at the Alabama state judicial building yesterday, in the face of furious protests.
The Alabama judiciary currently applies a selective interpretation of the commandments, specifically the injunction, Thou shalt not kill. It is seventh in the list of states applying the death penalty, and has executed 28 people since it was reintroduced in 1976.
Read More From: Alabama Abandons 10 Commandments and Continues to Apply the Death Penalty
An unofficial English translation was obtained by CBS. The document describes as "The Worst Crime" by clerics, obscene acts "with youths of either sex or with brute animals." A priest who takes advantage of a church member in a confessional relationship is subject to an in-house church trial. The document instructs all those involved "...to be restrained by a perpetual silence, to observe the strictest secret, ...under the penalty of excommunication."
Even many Catholics today were shocked and flabbergasted to hear about the policy.
Read More From: Catholic Church Don't Ask Don't Tell Coverup Policy on Buggering Kids and Animals
ANNISTON, Alabama -- The U.S. army yesterday fired up its first chemical weapons incinerator near a residential area and destroyed a Cold War-era rocket loaded with enough sarin nerve gas to wipe out a city.
Read More From: Weapons of Mass Destruction Found! In Alabama...
Give a man a reputation as an early riser, said Mark Twain, and that man can thereafter sleep until noon. Quick, then—what is your favorite Bob Hope gag? It wouldn't take you long if I challenged you on Milton Berle, or Woody Allen, or John Cleese, or even (for the older customers) Lenny Bruce or Mort Sahl. By this time tomorrow, I bet you haven't come up with a real joke for which Hope could take credit.
Read More From: Did Bob Hope Ever Say Anything Funny?
Local Episcopal leaders responded with shock, sadness and a call for patience Monday when a New Hampshire clergyman's bid to become the first openly gay elected bishop in the Episcopal Church was postponed amid allegations involving inappropriate touching and pornography.
Read More From: Lock up your Children - the Bishops back in Town - Witchhunt Ensues
The Pentagon yesterday scrapped a plan to establish a futures market that would have allowed investors to bet on the probability of coups, assassinations, terrorist strikes and other events in the Middle East.
No... I'm not making this up.
Read More From: Pentagon Futures Market - The News
Tony Blair would like to visit Nevada
When Prime Minister Tony Blair delivered his speech before Congress last Thursday he announced that he has never been to Nevada, a place he would like to visit.
There is much for him to see in Sin City. World famous resorts and structures such as Hoover Dam, one of the seven architectural wonders of the world.
Of course, there is that current Bambi situation.
We know that Blair has pledged to ban hunting with dogs, and we are confident he'd be against hunting women.
Read More From: Hunting for Bambi
When Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Michael Ramirez put pen to paper seeking to defend President Bush from attacks on his Iraq policy, he never expected to be targeted for federal interrogation.
Read More From: Secret Service Investigate Bush Assassination Attempt
The local Burger Barn set up a streetside grill. The market hawked compact discs featuring songs about Private Lynch recorded by one of its employees. And a man wearing a black Vietnam veterans cap peddled American, P.O.W.-M.I.A. and Confederate flags on the street.
Some who celebrated Lynch's homecoming said they wished other soldiers, particularly those who had been held prisoner, could have received the same attention.
Carty wondered about another woman who was captured and released, Spc. Shoshana Johnson, 30, of El Paso, a member of Lynch's unit.
"I wonder if we're overdoing (the celebration) of one more than the other," she said. "I'm proud of Jessica because she made it through, but it doesn't make me less proud of the other woman."
These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed
The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate.
Read More From: These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed
If you Havn't seen it.... Lets start a war... at the Gay Bar! by electric6 You really really must....
Read More From: Lets Start a War!
•Rep. Stark:"Excuse me. Whoa. Excuse me, Mr. Yinn, you're not reading."
•Chairman Bill Thomas (R-Calif.): "If the gentleman from California would understand that he's reading the table of contents, which is at the beginning of the bill. He will then move to the body of the bill. That's how these things work."
•Stark: "Its eloquence overwhelms me, Mr. Chairman, just like your intellect does."
A transcript of the committee meeting quoted Stark as belittling Thomas's intellect. Although the transcript does not show it, McInnis interjected, ''Shut up.'' The transcript then shows Stark saying: ''You think you are big enough to make me, you little wimp? Come on. Come over here and make me. I dare you, you little fruitcake.''
Stark said in an interview later that he regretted calling McInnis a ''fruitcake.'' But he also said the transcript missed his telling Thomas, ''You're behaving like a fascist.''
Read More From: Democrats boycott; GOP calls in police, passes pension bill
Between 15 and 20 signs along New Mexico's 100-mile stretch of U.S. 666 are missing.
Officials from all three states applied for the number change because of the old number's negative connotation.
The highway runs 194 miles from Gallup north through southwestern Colorado and west to Monticello, Utah. Colorado and Utah transportation officials also reported a rash of sign thefts since the American Association of State Highway and Transportation changed the number from U.S. 666 to U.S. 491 in June.
Read More From: Devils Highway
The alert was sent to all police forces in England and Wales last Monday after a van containing the uranium was stolen from the firm’s depot on an industrial estate in Purfleet. The vehicle had been left unlocked and the keys were in the ignition.
Read More From: Fantastically this was buried on page 7 today - Uranium theft puts Britain on alert
Market research company Music Programming Ltd (MPL) said 87% of its respondents who downloaded music admitted they bought albums after hearing tracks through the internet.
The REAL reson for the decline of music sales is the decline in quality music and the focus of the industry on the mass market.
Bob Harris on This Modern World By now you've seen the recent poll which finds that a third of Americans mistakenly believe that WMDs were found in Iraq, and about 22 percent think Iraq actually used WMDs during the war....
Read More From: Amerika - God Put His Faith in Thee?
